Life is a Cabaret

I know I've not been posting much recently, but I promised myself I would post today. So have a big long update. :p

i. First, Remix! The fic I received was Full of Grace (the human wisdom remix) by NEStar, West Wing, a remix of "All Human Wisdom." It's Josh-centric and about his relationships with some of the women in his life, so of course I loved it. What's funny is that the person last year remixed the same fic, but in a very different way. It's really, really interesting to see what two different people will do with the same fic.

I wrote The Camera Steals Your Soul (The Leading by Example Remix), Narnia, Susan-centric Pevensie sibling gen. I really enjoyed remixing this one. I knew as soon as I read the fic how I would remix the story, and I ended up quite happy with it.

That was the only fic I wrote for Remix this year. I wasn't quick enough for a pinch hit and nothing in Remix Madness really called to me with the amount of time I really had. That week happened to be the week of my Legal Research and Writing final brief. Speaking of...

ii. Law school! It's exams season. My exams are all on Tuesday and Friday this week and next. I'm...sort of having a hard time caring? I mean, my first one this Tuesday is the only in-class exam -- all the others are take-homes where I'll have an extra five hours to spend on them. Of course I've been studying, but I'm not really stressing about it. I've been far more interested in making up a schedule for next year. XD

What really makes me excited is that I got into the legal clinic I wanted for next spring. It's called the International Women's Human Rights Clinic, and from what I understand, what I'll be doing is in-depth research on another country's laws regarding women, actually going to that country during spring break for fact-finding, and then writing a report on our findings. There might be some drafting legislation in there too. It's going to be so cool! And speaking of other countries...

iii. Uganda! I need to send in my visa application this week, but otherwise I'm pretty on track. I am so looking forward to this. I can't believe I'm going to be spending three months in Africa, working on human rights. Wow.

iv. Okay, so...how do people find places to live that are not student housing? XD I've only ever lived with my parents or in dorms, but I need to find a place for next year. It's complicated by me not being in the country for the summer, so my parents are on my case about doing it now. I've just never done it before, and don't really know how it works. Hmm. I think I might just check out one of the apartment complexes nearby.

v. Writing! I've been doing it. I finished another fic in the Start Infinity Again series -- the planned final fic, in fact. That means it's not going to see the light of day for a long time, and it's probably going to change a lot between now and when I can finally post it, but it's a big relief to have it done. It ended up about 9000 words, and I actually still quite like it. :p

Now this means that I only have two more stories I have to write in order for this to feel like a complete and coherent universe. Both stories are chaptered with plot, so I'm probably going to have to save writing them for this summer. I don't anticipate having regular internet access at home, so that will leave me with little to do but write. :p

Also, I signed up for ksbigbang. My second Big Bang! My story is fleshing itself out in my head more -- I know the basic plot trajectory of the story, and last night I thought up several key scenes. Once I've got all the scenes basically plotted out, I can start writing, and it will go a lot quicker.

Hmm, think that's about it for now. I'm...going to try to be better about updating. :p

Goodbye, November. You were mostly significant for me finally being able to post my Big Bang. Which, you know, in case anyone missed it -- Start Infinity Again. Generations fix-it! Kirk Prime in Reboot! Crotchety old married couple space husbands!

I've been working out my notes for more of the universe starting with that fic. Yes, notes. I don't have a spreadsheet, but that's mostly because I don't really know what to do with a spreadsheet. I do have a table in a word document, though. It's got basic idea details for each planned fic, plot notes for the fic and where it fits into the universe, and character notes for what I'm trying to do with the characters. It's...really organized. Much more organized than I usually get for fic. XD

And at least two more of the fics have expanded in my mind into becoming chaptered fics. Not necessarily very long chaptered fics, but still chaptered. But I'm going to have to wait to actually write any of them until winter break. Which, speaking of.

One last day of classes, and one class left. Next Tuesday is my first final, the 15th is my last, and then I'll be done with my first semester of law school. Wow, that went quickly.

I'm trying not to freak out. Last week my Contracts prof gave us a practice exam question that he'd meet to give us individualized feedback on, and my meeting with him was today, and he said my answer was one of the best in the class. Which was, wow, not expecting that. We talked about the things I could improve, and then our last Contracts class today was a review session, so I feel pretty prepared for that. It's the other two I'm more worried about. *sigh*

Okay, two and a half more weeks of school, and about as long until I post my ksadvent fic. So...I need to write that, while studying for exams. At least I have a pretty solid idea -- now I just need to sit down and write it.

I've been...expectedly productive this year. :p

I've passed 11,000 on the third fic, and I think I'm just over halfway done. I think I'm probably finish it this weekend, especially because the second half of my week sort of opened up and I can spend more time on writing.

Though I'm sort of in a particularly strange little funk. I'm progressing well and having no problems with writer's block or anything, but the lack of feedback is sort of messing with me. I don't write specifically for reviews and I'd never do something like hold a chapter hostage for reviews, but it's weird. I do have some sort of sense of if what I'm writing is any good, but now I'm starting to think that sense is based at least partially on what people have said about my stories in the past.

So now I've written over 120,000 words of fic that no one else has given me an opinion on, plus it's all out of my comfort zone in that these fics have actual plot, and I've barely written these characters, and there's so much I don't know about the universe, and in the second story there's actual science happening...

So I'm writing the third story and my brain starts freaking out about how my plots suck and my characterization sucks and my pacing sucks and the whole universe sucks, wtf was I doing thinking anyone would want to read this?

At least I have a few advantages over my negative brain, including the fact that I want these stories told, no matter what anyone else does, so I'm finding satisfaction for myself in telling them. There's also that I don't think they're total crap, even if I haven't had any positive reinforcement about them.

So it's a strange little funk, yet, but I WILL PREVAIL. And then in a few months I'll actually be able to post this stuff. That will be a huge relief.

It doesn't help that there are so few K/S people on my flist. I really sort of suck at making friends. A friending meme would be awesome, but I don't know how often they come around and I really don't have enough gumption to do one myself. XD Maybe I'll feel differently in a few months.

So there are some actually interesting things going on in my life.

First, hah. I've finished the sequel to my Big Bang now as well -- 33,500 words in six chapters. I have two one-shot side-stories defining themselves further in my head right now, and I expect those to come out within the next few weeks. I pretty much definitely have an actual universe going here, which is so awesome. Also, that universe already has a current word count of 110,000+ words, which is also awesome. I don't think I've ever written that much (purely in word count) in any single fandom, only counting complete fics. Star Wars is approaching that total, but it took me a lot longer than two months to get that far. And given the other Star Trek fics I've already written, that's 120,000+ words, and only going to continue to go up.

Hah. Not that anyone else cares about my word counts, I'm sure. But I'm amazed, so :p.

Second, I have my class schedule for next year. You know, I've known that this is happening for months, but now it finally feels real. I look at the classes on my schedule and realize that I'm actually going to be taking those.

First semester I'm taking Constitutional Law, Contracts, Legal Writing and Research, and Torts. Second semester I have Criminal Justice, more Legal Writing and Research, Civil Procedure, Property, and an elective.

I am...trying not to be terrified.

I am, at least, getting back into the school swing of things starting next week, since I signed up to take a macroeconomics class at my local public university, mostly because I think it'll help the study of law in some way to understand how economic systems work. I just hope it'll be interesting, though, whether or not it ends up being especially useful.

But mostly I'm at the point where I keep thinking, oh my god I'm starting law school in less than two months. I have to write as much as I possibly can before that happens! :p

I really need some sort of law school icon. Hmmm.

So I've been working on the sequel to my Big Bang. I've been taking it a lot slower than the first one, but I'm still progressing pretty well. This is going to be a shorter fic, and I'm not in a hurry.

But what this fic does have is an actual plot. A plot that requires science. So I've been emailing Twin (who is currently working at CERN, where the Large Hadron Collider is) asking her to do things like explain black holes to me. I now have the dubious pleasure of knowing exactly what it would feel like to have a black hole consume me.

(BTW, I would spaghettify, which is the actual scientific term. The process sound awful, but that is an awesome term.)

She also referred me to this book called Death from the Skies: The Science Behind the End of the World. I've been reading that, and what I can understand (which is actually most of it, apart from any math) is actually strangely disappointing, terrifying, and relieving at the same time. For instance, it is incredibly, extremely unlikely that the Earth will ever be consumed by a black hole, but if it were to happen, that would be terrifying.

So it's probably just as well that I'm writing this fic much slower, because I still have more questions I need to ask Twin. She's already given me some great details I can sprinkle in for verisimilitude, but I want my plot to actually make sense, scientifically. At least, as much as it can given that it's science fiction set in the future.

Star Trek is kind of screwing with my usual fandom MO.

Of course, there's the long fic, which is unusual. And there's the sequel to the long fic brewing in my brain that I think I'm going to try to start soon.

But I also wanted to write some one-shots this summer. I like one-shots, and they're what I usually write anyway.

But -- and this is where it gets weird for me -- the only fic ideas I seem to have are either chaptered fic or porn. I mean, in all of my other fandoms, I've written a whole lot of gen. Even when I'm focused on one pairing, like I was in Doctor Who, I still had plenty of gen, friendship ideas for the Doctor and Rose.

Somehow in Star Trek, my brain wants either plotty chaptered fic (that's still about a pairing), or pure porn. IDEK. Maybe it's just, with Kirk and Spock, pretty much the only thing I did not see them do on screen was make out and have sex. By the time of the movies they were totally an old married couple and it even felt just like RST to me. And this is such an old fandom, where it's hard to find something that someone hasn't already done, and done twenty or thirty years ago.

I think I'm still going to write some porn, because I have actually written very little porn across my fandom years. But as great as st_xi_kink_meme is for porn ideas that ping me, it's less so for stories without porn. So at some point I might go looking for prompts.

It's been a long time since I wrote off prompts other people gave me. I should totally do that.

Happy Glorious 25th of May! Long live the People's Republic of Treacle Mine Road! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably-priced love! And a hard-boiled egg! I am not wearing lilac the flower, but I am wearing lilac the color. It was completely by accident, but I'm still wearing it.

I promise that after this I'm not going to talk about my Big Bang progress so much, but I couldn't let this milestone pass by without remarking on it. I've passed 41,000 words, which is significant because 41,000 words is the length of my current longest complete fic. I do not think that fic is going to hold that title for much longer. :D

Also, I wrote all 41,000 of those words in two and a half weeks. Two and a half weeks! That is also a new record. Not by much -- the other long fic I wrote in three weeks -- but still, it broke my record. I think I wrote 20,000 in one week alone, and I'm not even done for the night.

Okay. Done marveling over my milestone now. Carry on. :)

Yes, ramble ramble more Big Bang. I can't help it. I am excited!

And also progressing amazingly well, wow. I hit 30,000 words today. I started this fic two weeks ago. That is incredibly fast for me, but this fic is just in my head and really wants out.

I finished the fifth chapter, which is a point at which I could end the fic if I wanted to. I wouldn't even have to worry about word count, since I already passed the minimum. But that would only be telling half the story in my head (actually, just slightly less than half, since I'm estimating this will have about twelve or thirteen chapters), and I have plenty of time before the deadline, so I'm definitely going to tell the whole thing.

So...new estimates are 60,000 to 70,000, and possibly more. IDK. It depends on how long the chapters run in the second part. But it is pretty definitely going to break my previous record for longest fic, which is awesome.

Okay! Now to get back to writing!

Yes, more Big Bang stuff. Possibly this is going to consume my journal for the foreseeable future. But I can't help it! I'm excited!

16644 / 20000 words. 83% done!

Hah. I may be 83% done towards the minimum, but I'm maybe, at the most, a third done with the story. Probably closer to a fourth. Considering it's already passed 16,000 words, which means it's already passed the count for my second-longest complete fic...yeah. This is going to be seriously long.

I am so stoked. :D

I've now finished the third chapter, including the troublesome porn. Next chapter is something I've had in my head for months, so I'm looking forward to getting it written out. I just hope it sounds as good written down as it does in my head.

But I'll be getting on that tomorrow. After my nice burst of productivity today, it's definitely time for reading fic, not writing it.

Remix assignment -- complete and betad.

Remix pinch hit -- also complete, and with my beta.

Go me! I feel like I'm finally back in some sort of writing groove. I doubt I will ever be as prolific as I was in my Harry Potter days again, but maybe I can manage Star Wars or Doctor Who levels of writing. Heh, at least until I start law school. :p

I am actually even thinking of doing a Big Bang this year. I never have before -- haven't always been in fandoms where they're popular, couldn't think of a viable idea, was intimidated by the length -- but I think I really want to try startrekbigbang this year. 20,000 words in three or four months is actually not that much, and seems even less now that I've written my big ST movies meta in a week.

So...hopefully more fic soon. Writing is a lot easier when I can make myself just sit down and do it. XD