Thoughts

[rynne]

Public, as I want opinions, and not just from people on my flist.

So. I was just rereading a few fics, namely thistlerose's Midnight Conversation #6, copperbadge's Alive, lupercali's Seven Things That Didn't Happen At Hogwarts On Valentine's Day, Or Maybe They Did and a myriad of other fics, and I was thinking, and I noticed something that they all have in common.

They all have Sirius more in love with Remus than Remus is with Sirius.

Like in "Alive", Sam writes, "Remus had never felt so entirely tied up in a single person, the way Sirius had been. He had loved Sirius, of course he had loved Sirius, but his happiness and his life had not been dependent on Sirius loving him."

MC#6 is pretty much about how Sirius loves Remus more than Remus loves him (at that time).

Seventh year of "Seven Things..." also seems to be pretty much that, as is Pru's Levityverse.

I've also gotten that same impression from a few of musesfool's fics.

Four of the most highly-respected authors (at least according to me) in the R/S subfandom have the same sort of theme on how the R/S relationship works. And, I was just wondering why. Is it because Sirius is passionate and Remus is controlled? Something along those lines?

All opinions are very much appreciated. Especially if they turn into debates :).

Comments

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

A lot of people have covered most of what I'd say about this.

There are a couple other things, though - one technical - ifyou're writing from Sirius's POV, then of course it's going to seem as if Sirius is completely ass-over-teakettle in love and he's trying to win/woo/court Remus.

If you're writing from Remus's POV, even if he's attempting to seduce Sirius, he's always going to be a bit more reserved even inside his own head. He's not going to admit even to himself how important Sirius is.

I also think it comes of freedom - Sirius had the freedom, when they were younger, to completely commit everything he has to someone else. It's not necessarily healthy, but that seems to be what Sirius does - he throws himself 110% into MWPP, into out-Gryffindoring the best Gryffindors, into fighting the Dark Arts and not being a typical member of the Black family. So he gives that same effort to loving whoever he loves.

Remus holds it all inside and only very slowly and carefully does he let his layers be peeled away. I think he has a hard time accepting that people care for him, let alone love him, and so he's very sparing of showing his own love, at least in public.

Also, the prank has to be taken into account - Sirius is the one who has to beg forgiveness there, even if he never actually does - so he may come across looking more desperate than Remus does. The break in trust obviously was never fully healed, and post-Azkaban Sirius probably has a bit of clinginess about him, because now he's got no one but Remus (and Harry), and he's probably afraid Remus has moved on and even if he doesn't hate him, he's not interested in restarting an old relationship.

Sirius has an obsessive personality, and he would be the kind who'd make his lover the whole world, at least for a while. Since I tend to think that if they actually were together in canon, it didn't happen until after the prank and likely late in their Hogwarts career or even after they left school, it doesn't leave them much time to grow out of that honeymoon phase.

I think it's just a difference in the way they express their love, and of course, the difference of whose point of view the story is from.

On the other hand, that seeming imbalance is something I've addressed - and had them address - in various stories, because it's one of the things that makes them interesting to me.

I think Sirius spent a lot of time convincing Remus he loved him *at all*, which means he probably spent a lot more time thinking/talking/"proving" his love, because I think Remus thinks he's not very lovable and would have a hard time believing Sirius loved him, if that makes sense. So of course Sirius would have to be a lot more vocal and expressive than Remus is, though I have no doubt Sirius wishes Remus would be more expressive.

There's also Sirius's carelessness to take into account - maybe Sirius threw the words around a lot to get laid, and so Remus doesn't take them at face value, and he says them very rarely but only when he means them. So Sirius is really saying, "I love you" but Remus is hearing, "I want to get into your pants." etc. and thus Sirius has to work harder.

Mostly, I think it depends on the story you're trying to tell.