[fic] Feet on the Ground (3/8, PG-13)
Jan. 8th, 2006 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynneHere's the third part of my SW chaptered fic. :)
Title: Feet on the Ground
Author: Rynne
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Luke Skywalker has grown up his father's apprentice, and can't imagine anything but serving the Emperor. But after one mission, Luke's illusions begin to shatter, and Luke and his father begin to plan for the future--their future. Primarily a Luke-Vader story, with eventual Luke/Mara.
Author's notes: This is the first sequel to my fic Walking the Sky. I highly suggest you read that before reading this, though the basics are that Vader found Luke on Tatooine when Luke was nine, killing Obi-Wan and another Jedi, and leaving Owen and Beru alive.
This fic is written in its entirety, and is eight chapters long, plus a prologue. The only delay in posting chapters is when I get them back from my betas and make corrections, so I should be updating fairly frequently.
There are characters and concepts from the Star Wars Extended Universe in here, but very few. The biggest one is Mara Jade, who plays a large role, and who will be an important part of the plot, and not just as a love interest. I hope that I've provided enough background on Mara so that those of you who have seen Star Wars but not read any of the EU books would still be able to follow the story, if you want to read it--just think of her as an original character (which she is, though created by Timothy Zahn and not me).
Enormous thanks must go to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
krabapple and kayladie for betaing. You both made this fic much better than it would have been on its own. Thank you!
Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight
--
3
Vader was in a meeting with some of the admirals of the Imperial Fleet when he felt his son return.
He was normally less than fond of meetings in general--he'd never had the talent or the patience for administrative procedure that his late wife had--but from the moment he felt his son's ship touch down on planet, time seemed to go by slower than usual.
"--and so the Empire would benefit by having at least three more Victory-class Star Destroyers sweeping the Arkanis sector--"
Vader tuned the admiral out--his aide would give him the notes for this meeting later anyway. He had more important people to converse with right now.
/Hello, Son,/ he sent through their bond. They always greeted each other when one returned to the planet, the legacy of an enthusiastic young Luke practicing his telepathic skills. Only for the Emperor would they delay such a greeting, and these admirals were certainly not the Emperor.
/Father,/ Luke returned after a brief pause, so slight Vader might have missed it had he been a less observant man.
/How was the mission, my son?/ Vader asked, concerned by that pause and what it might be hiding. Luke had killed the Jedi, hadn't he? Surely he wouldn't be coming back to Coruscant so soon if he hadn't.
/Completed,/ Luke replied. /The Jedi is dead./ There was a twinge of emotion at that, there and gone so quickly that Vader could not identify it. /But for now, I need to report to the Emperor, so if you'll excuse me?/
Always polite, his son. /Of course,/ Vader returned, and closed the connection.
Always polite...but rarely evasive, and if Luke's excuse of reporting to the Emperor wasn't an evasion, then Vader didn't know what one was.
Something had clearly happened on the mission, and it was obviously something to do with the Jedi. But Vader had felt no deceit over the bond, so Luke had fulfilled his orders and killed the Jedi. Was he feeling guilty? Vader was well aware that Luke did not hate the Jedi as he himself did, even after Vader's stories of atrocities the Jedi committed, such as keeping him away from his mother until she was nearly dead, and trying to assassinate the then-Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, and many more. But was that lack of hatred going to cripple him in the execution of his duty?
"--Lord Vader? Lord Vader, do you have any thoughts on my proposed deployment of part of the reserve fleet?" a droning admiral asked, cutting into Vader's thoughts.
To cover up his lack of attention, Vader snapped, "Surely you do not need me to hold your hand as you strategize, Admiral? I will decide on a course of action after I have heard all of the proposals. Unless you feel that you deserve more consideration than your colleagues?"
Vader watched in dark satisfaction as the admiral gulped, paling, and raised a hand to loosen the neck of his uniform, which he likely imagined to be tightening around his throat--though it was not his uniform. "N-no, Lord Vader!" the admiral gasped, and Vader eased off the pressure.
There was silence around the conference table for a moment, each admiral looking nervously at another. Finally Vader said, sharply, "Surely you have not all lost your tongues? Who is next?"
After another moment of numbing silence, an admiral on the far side of the table stood up, pale beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. He haltingly began to speak, gaining more confidence when no phantom hands closed around his throat, and the conference continued.
The meeting went by with the speed of a granite slug, and by the time it was over, Vader wanted to scream with impatience and annoyance. He wanted to kill that last admiral, whose presentation went on far longer than it should have, but "he talked too much" was not a valid reason for the execution of a competent officer, according to the Emperor. Pity. Still, he likely wouldn't forget the way fingers felt closing around his throat anytime soon, even if Vader had purposely not cut off his air. At least no one had questioned him when Vader said that he would think further on the proposals and give them their orders the next day.
Luke wasn't there when Vader arrived back at their palace. He was most likely still reporting to the Emperor, and Vader found himself again resenting his master. It seemed to be happening more and more in recent years, and usually in regards to something to do with his son.
It had been something of an unwelcome revelation when Vader realized that his son was more important to him than his duty to the Emperor--but only unwelcome because it had to immediately be hidden from everyone. The Emperor would not appreciate knowing that he was not unequivocally first in his servant's thoughts anymore, and so it was safer for both him and Luke for the Emperor not to know of his apprentice's shifting allegiances.
He'd barely sunk into a light meditative trance when he felt Luke's presence close on his own. He immediately abandoned the meditation; Luke, and the unsettling emotions coming from him, were far more important.
"Son," Vader called, as soon as Luke emerged from the turbolift onto their wing.
"Father," Luke replied, walking closer until he was directly in front of his father, and then stepping up to walk by his side as Vader turned and they strode towards the private library on the floor, their favorite place to sit and talk. "How has Coruscant been?"
Immediate distraction from Luke's own mission, Vader noted, instead of Luke's customary discussion of the details, assuming that had not been forbidden him. "As usual," he replied. "No crises came up while you were away," he added with amusement, knowing of his son's predilection for taking care of things personally. The boy had no idea of how to delegate properly. Though of course, with the type of missions he ordinarily went on, he wouldn't.
Luke smiled briefly at him, recognizing the good-natured jab for what it was. "What were you doing when I landed? You felt annoyed when you contacted me," he commented, still apparently determined not to discuss his mission. Vader's curiosity about it grew, but he would wait and play his son's game.
"I was dealing with long-winded admirals," Vader said, suppressing a sigh. Not that he was much for patience in any case, but administrative procedures seemed to bring out the worst part of his impatience.
"Did any leave the meeting?" Luke asked wryly, obviously knowing well his father's dislike of administration.
"All of them, if you would believe it."
Luke smiled slightly, and let out a low, brief chuckle. Vader smiled behind his mask, and how strange that the smile came more and more easily, ever since Luke had moved in with him, and that it wasn't painful anymore. Or perhaps not so strange. Luke, on the other hand, seemed to be smiling and laughing less and less as time went by. Vader would often tell himself that he would finally ask his son why, but something always came up.
Maybe now was the time to ask.
But before he could get a chance to, before he could even think of how to phrase the question, Luke said, quietly, and looking at his hands, "The Jedi tried to recruit me."
At that, all thought of Luke's growing melancholy flew out of his head. "What?" he demanded, more out of surprise than a request for repetition. Then it started sinking in, and Vader's fists started clenching, almost of their own accord.
"He tried to recruit me," Luke repeated anyway. "I took off the cloak, because it would have gotten tangled in the fight, and he thought I was a child and tried to get me to go with him and be a Jedi."
The Jedi tried to take my son away from me again. The thought bloomed, horrifying, and Vader almost reached out to touch Luke to make sure that he was really there, that the Jedi weren't playing tricks on his mind by making him think his son was right there with him when he was gone. But then he mentally shook himself; he was being ridiculous, Luke was here, here and not somewhere else, not taken away by the Jedi.
"What happened?" Vader asked, and was shaken anew when he realized the depth his fear went at the thought that he could so easily lose the last family he had left. When had it come to this? After Padmé had died, it had seemed all the love in the galaxy had died with her, but now there was his son...
Luke looked up again and smiled, an echo of his mother in the curve of his lips, then reached out and laid his hand on Vader's forearm, as if he'd sensed the desire for reassurance. He might have, at that; Luke was very powerful, and Vader's shielding was not optimal, thanks to the horrible thought of how quickly and easily Luke could have left his life...
But Luke said, normally and without the gentleness that Vader didn't want, "He's dead now, isn't he? I would never have gone with him. Besides," Luke added with a smirk, "there wasn't really much he could teach me, was there? I was the one who found him and then defeated him. I was more powerful and better trained than he was."
Relief. Almost overwhelming relief, but... "Tell me everything," Vader demanded.
Luke shrugged--a comfortable, impolite gesture that Vader had broken him of in public, but decided to leave be when it was just the two of them. He didn't want to stifle his son. "Not much, really," Luke replied. "He was shielded when I got there, but I'm more powerful, so it wasn't that hard to find him. When I did, he tried to recruit me. He failed, and we fought. I'd just killed him when that Mara Jade showed up and shot his body." Luke's eyes flashed, briefly.
Vader frowned. "She shot a dead man?"
"She said it was orders," Luke said, carefully, and Vader received the impression that he'd left this bit off in his report to Palpatine. He obviously believed that Vader would not correct the omission, and Vader was flattered by the faith his son had in him. Not many trusted him so.
"She didn't say anything else on the subject?" Vader queried, but not in the hope of any real answer. The Emperor's Hand was surely too much of a professional to give too much away.
"I didn't ask," Luke answered, "but if I had, I don't think I would have gotten any answer. But I didn't really need anything else. The Emperor gave her those orders, and he must have done so for a reason. He doesn't trust me."
It was said so baldly and calmly that Vader could almost believe that his son was truly unemotional about it, if the boy hadn't just days before been so despondent at the thought that he was unnecessary.
Vader didn't reply. What could he say? He knew that Palpatine didn't trust Luke, and he didn't lie to his son.
But then something simmered up from his subconscious. Hadn't he thought, just before meeting his son, that Luke was more important to him than his loyalty to Palpatine? Luke, his son and student, who accepted him and cared about him and was loyal to him, as opposed to an old man who manipulated him and wanted him solely for his power, who'd expressed false sympathy when telling him of his wife's death, while secretly being glad? In Vader's mind there was no contest between the two.
The only problem was Palpatine, and his power and cunning and experience. But with the two of them, the Skywalkers, the children of the Force itself, perhaps that would not be much of a problem after all.
He didn't even notice that he'd thought of himself as a Skywalker again.
"That does not matter," Vader said firmly, finally. "You are more powerful than he is. He does not trust you because he fears you."
He began to speak, and it seemed, then, that there was no turning back.
--
Luke leaned his head against the datashelves, right below the box of what was supposed to be datacards about Corvis Minor and was in reality a holdout blaster for whoever knew the secret of the Imperial Palace's libraries. This particular blaster was hidden in a holster strapped to his wrist, ready to fall into his hand at a twitch.
Luke didn't like blasters very much. So inelegant, even if they did get the job done. A lightsaber was a much better weapon, suited just as much to defense as to attack, with a beauty that a blaster would never have. Luke's was back in his own quarters; people recognized a lightsaber, and recognized too just who was able to wield one, and there was no point in having it with him if he couldn't use it without being recognized.
He closed his eyes and sighed, trying not to think. There was too much to think about, and the thoughts kept swirling around in his mind, getting mixed up and coming but incoherently.
"What are you doing here?" a voice asked, rarely heard but familiar enough. Mara Jade.
"...Learning by osmosis," Luke replied wryly, not wanting to take the effort to make sense just then. He cracked open one eye just to see her raise an eyebrow at him.
"Is it working?" she asked, crouching down next to him.
Luke smiled. "No," he admitted. "Maybe if I were a datapad..."
She laughed softly, and Luke let his head roll back, still smiling. He liked the sound of her laugh. He wasn't sure what to think of her, herself, but she had a nice laugh.
"So what are you doing?" she pressed, and sat down cross-legged beside him on the floor.
"Sitting," he replied. "Sitting and thinking. Meditating, maybe. Why are you here?"
"I was doing research," she answered, "and I saw you. I wondered what you were doing."
"Don't let me keep you from your research," he said, and told his muscles to relax. Why had they stiffened?
She made no move to get up. "I was almost done anyway," she said, and shifted so that she too was sitting with her back to a shelf. "It'll be no problem to finish later."
"Why are you here?" Luke asked again, because there was another why to answer.
She knew what he was asking, and told him, hesitantly, "You looked lonely."
Luke left his eyes closed, and fought down the urge to laugh, though one without true humor. Lonely! As if lonely mattered, to a person in his position. Sith Lords were probably supposed to be lonely. Besides, he had his father. He didn't need a friend.
Wanting wasn't the same as needing. It wouldn't be even if he wanted Mara Jade for a friend, when she was probably just a spy for Palpatine anyway.
But he still found himself answering her, and more honestly than he would have liked. "Sometimes," he said finally.
"Is now one of those times?" she asked. Maybe now she thought that because he told her something, he would tell her everything. Was she a spy for Palpatine, right here and right now? She was his Hand, Luke knew, but surely she had a self beyond that identity, just as Luke and his father had identities beyond being Sith Lords.
And he did want a friend. He'd acknowledged it when he first met her, but it had been a safe desire then, because he thought it would never be fulfilled. This was dangerous, here and now, when there were so many things he did not know.
But what was life if not risk, and what was life worth if he took no risks?
"Yes," he said, the word escaping him in a sigh, his eyes now open to look at this strange girl who wanted to befriend a Sith Lord. "I am lonely."
She looked at him soberly, and there was something familiar in her gaze. He saw it often in the mirror. Alone with him, in a dark, almost unused corner of the thirty-second floor library in the Imperial Palace, she said, "Sometimes so am I."
It felt sincere. She looked sincere. Luke hated not knowing for sure.
He closed his eyes for a moment, and opened them again just in time to see her frown. "Look, Lord Umber--"
"Luke," he said softly, and looked her in the eyes, blue to green.
"What?" she asked, and blinked.
"My name is Luke," he told her. "Luke Skywalker."
"Luke," she repeated softly. "Strange...I never thought about Sith Lords having real names. It seems a bit...mundane."
Luke laughed, a quiet laugh that was swallowed up by the shelves. "I wasn't always a Sith Lord," he replied. "Neither was my father. We've both got names, though he never uses his anymore. I am...more attached to mine."
"Luke," she said again, and her forehead furrowed as if in thought. "Meaning light?"
"Yes," he said, with some amusement, and wasn't surprised that she knew what his name meant. "Ironic, isn't it?"
"Very," she replied with a small smile. "Luke and Umber. Light and shadow. I assume that was conscious?"
"I think so," he said, looking at her smile. "The Emperor chose it, and it fits his sense of humor."
She nodded, and then her expression lost its levity. "Look, Luke..." She sighed. "You probably won't believe me, but I'm not here for any ulterior motive, besides friendship."
Luke looked at her, levelly, and she didn't look away. "Why?" he asked frankly, that in itself a wealth of questions.
She shrugged, and Luke bit back a smile at the informal gesture. "Because I think we're similar," she replied, with equal frankness. "And because I've never met another person my age who knew exactly who and what I was."
"...Me neither," Luke confessed. "I didn't like you knowing who I was, at first, because not many people do." She nodded at his words, as if she knew exactly what he meant. She probably did, at that. "But," he said, curiously, "how did you know I wouldn't punish you for your overtures?"
She smiled at him. "You could have tried," she said dryly. "I'm not helpless."
Something in Luke cooled at those words and that irreverence, even from someone he was already starting to consider a friend, and he unconsciously straightened. "I don't try," he said, voice barely above a whisper, so that she had to lean forward to hear him clearly. "Do not be fooled, Mara Jade. Young or not, lonely or not, I am still a fully trained Sith Lord. Do not underestimate me."
She grew silent for a moment, the sound of their breathing the only thing to be heard. "Mara," she said finally, and Luke blinked as the moment was broken. "Call me Mara."
He laughed at that, and felt warm again. He liked that she refused to be intimidated. "Mara, then," he said agreeably.
Then her eyes chilled a bit as well. "Don't underestimate me either," she said, a clear warning. "I may not be a Sith Lord, but I'm not helpless."
"I know," Luke replied. "You would not have come to Ord Mantell if you were."
Any remaining laughter between them died at the mention of Ord Mantell. "I'm not sorry for shooting him, you know," she told him, voice quiet enough to barely disturb the dust motes dancing in the dim light.
"Of course not," he replied, wondering that she would think he thought she should be. He could not fault a tool for the uses its wielder put it to, and he knew that that was what Mara Jade--and he himself, for that matter--was, for all that they were supposed to be people. "Orders must be followed, even if I personally do not see the wisdom in shooting a dead man."
She smirked at him. "Glad you understand," she said tartly, and smiled at him when he laughed. He got the impression that she was not used to explaining herself to anyone besides the Emperor.
Well, at least she didn't seem to know that he was lying about the Jedi having been dead. His father hadn't sensed it either. It was his secret.
He was tired of secrets. When he was a child, it seemed to be lies that made up his life, and now it was secrets.
This friendship would probably be a secret, too. His father would never trust Mara Jade; Luke wasn't even sure why he did, but he found that it was true: he did trust her, or at least was starting to. And Palpatine...he didn't like that someone might have loyalty to a person who was not him, and friendship was partly based on loyalty. Luke remembered that from Biggs, who had sworn to keep the secret of Luke's parentage and who cared about him despite knowing that he was the son of one of the Empire's most feared figures.
Another secret...there were so many of them. But one more surely wouldn't hurt, and a friendship here, in the last place he ever thought to find friends, was worth it.
--
//She is tracing circles on his chest with a finger, a relaxing habit of hers that she usually falls into after they make love.
"Don't let your guard down," she says incongruously, her head pillowed on his shoulder and tucked beneath his chin. "He is still very dangerous."
He strokes her hair, the strands waving and curling against her naked back. She is so very warm, with an inner heat that reminds him of home. He loves the feeling of her pressed to his side, her body soft and yielding against his.
"I know," he tells her, with a comfortable lack of confusion. "I won't forget."
She raises her head and slides up to look him in the eye. "Don't get complacent," she warns again. "Otherwise he'll destroy you."
That surprises him into a laugh. "Don't worry about me," he says, and leans forward to kiss her softly on the lips. "He's not powerful enough to destroy me."
She puts a hand against his cheek, strokes the skin beneath his eye with her thumb. "Physical destruction is not the only kind," she says. "Watch out for our son. He's just a boy."
He almost sits straight up at that, but she is draped over him and he doesn't want to move her. "He wouldn't touch him," he says, and tries to believe it. "Not Luke."
"You know better than that," she whispers, and he tries to relax. "Luke is strong, but he's got his weaknesses. He could be taken advantage of."
"I won't let anything happen to him," he promises. She smiles at him, and kisses him, once on his forehead and then on his lips.
Then she melts against him, the heat of her warming something inside him. He tries to pull her closer, but she is still melting. "Don't let your guard down," she says once again.
Then she is gone.//
Vader's eyes snapped open, and for one of the few times in his life he was grateful to the respirator that regulated his breathing. He might have hyperventilated if it had been possible.
It was a dream, obviously. It could not have been reality--there was no Padmé by his side--
Just a dream. His mind calmed down as he repeated it to himself. Just a dream.
Except it wasn't a dream, because it didn't feel like a dream, it felt like when the Force was trying to tell him something. And the last time he'd dreamed like that, it had been of Padmé, and then she--
Vader's heart almost stopped at the implications. Luke. This dream had been about Luke. Of course, he hadn't actually seen his son dying, not the way he had his mother and his wife, but it was just as much a warning as those had been.
He stood up, abandoning the possibility of going back to sleep. He didn't want another dream like that.
--Padmé pressed against his body, kissing him--
Why had she been there? He started pacing, hands clasped together behind his back. Had it even been Padmé, her spirit sent by the Force to warn him, or had it just been a manifestation of his subconscious need for her--No I don't, I don't need her, I am Darth Vader and I don't need anyone--paired with a premonition from the Force?
Luke was in danger. That much was simple and clear. So too was the cause of the danger: whom else could it be but Palpatine, the only one who existed with both the power and the motivation to hurt his son?
Vader was struck with a sudden urge to see his son, one so strong that he was out of the door and striding down the hall toward his son's room almost before he'd made the decision to do so.
It was the middle of the night and he felt Luke sleeping, but his son was a light sleeper. He might wake up if Vader looked in on him, and wonder what Vader was doing there. And Vader didn't want to explain. Not right then, at least. Luke would have to be told soon, so that he wouldn't get complacent around Palpatine either, but Vader just needed to look at his son and see that he was safe...
But Luke didn't wake up when the door quietly slid open. Vader stepped into the room and let the door close behind him before moving closer, and looking down at his son's sleeping face. His mouth was open, and his tousled hair stuck up on the pillow. Through the infrared scanners on his helmet's lenses, Vader could see Luke's eyes rapidly moving behind his eyelids, and knew that his son was deeply asleep.
Then something in Luke's face changed. It twisted, as if in pain, and his teeth came together in an audible clack, his exhaling breath quickening and coming out in a hiss. Quicker than a thought, Vader's hand came up to rest on his son's forehead, smoothing the furrowed brow, soothing his son into better dreams. As Luke's face relaxed and his breathing evened out, Vader took his hand away and stood back to consider.
Luke had been dreaming too, and unpleasantly. That didn't bode well. He and Luke were the most powerful Force-users in the galaxy, not even Palpatine excepted, and if they both were having portentous dreams...
Vader looked down on his son, sleeping peacefully now. It could not be coincidence that these dreams came hard on the heels of Luke's killing of the Jedi, and his and Vader's subsequent discussion. Coincidence was just as much an illusion as luck. It had to be the Force warning them.
Luke shifted, sighed heavily, legs tangled in his blankets. "Father," he murmured, the sound almost lost in the sigh, and so quiet. "Father..."
Vader leaned forward again, and smoothed the hair away from his son's forehead. Then he turned and left, determined to meditate and think on the source of the threat--and how to stop it from harming Luke.
Title: Feet on the Ground
Author: Rynne
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Luke Skywalker has grown up his father's apprentice, and can't imagine anything but serving the Emperor. But after one mission, Luke's illusions begin to shatter, and Luke and his father begin to plan for the future--their future. Primarily a Luke-Vader story, with eventual Luke/Mara.
Author's notes: This is the first sequel to my fic Walking the Sky. I highly suggest you read that before reading this, though the basics are that Vader found Luke on Tatooine when Luke was nine, killing Obi-Wan and another Jedi, and leaving Owen and Beru alive.
This fic is written in its entirety, and is eight chapters long, plus a prologue. The only delay in posting chapters is when I get them back from my betas and make corrections, so I should be updating fairly frequently.
There are characters and concepts from the Star Wars Extended Universe in here, but very few. The biggest one is Mara Jade, who plays a large role, and who will be an important part of the plot, and not just as a love interest. I hope that I've provided enough background on Mara so that those of you who have seen Star Wars but not read any of the EU books would still be able to follow the story, if you want to read it--just think of her as an original character (which she is, though created by Timothy Zahn and not me).
Enormous thanks must go to
krabapple and kayladie for betaing. You both made this fic much better than it would have been on its own. Thank you!Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight
--
Vader was in a meeting with some of the admirals of the Imperial Fleet when he felt his son return.
He was normally less than fond of meetings in general--he'd never had the talent or the patience for administrative procedure that his late wife had--but from the moment he felt his son's ship touch down on planet, time seemed to go by slower than usual.
"--and so the Empire would benefit by having at least three more Victory-class Star Destroyers sweeping the Arkanis sector--"
Vader tuned the admiral out--his aide would give him the notes for this meeting later anyway. He had more important people to converse with right now.
/Hello, Son,/ he sent through their bond. They always greeted each other when one returned to the planet, the legacy of an enthusiastic young Luke practicing his telepathic skills. Only for the Emperor would they delay such a greeting, and these admirals were certainly not the Emperor.
/Father,/ Luke returned after a brief pause, so slight Vader might have missed it had he been a less observant man.
/How was the mission, my son?/ Vader asked, concerned by that pause and what it might be hiding. Luke had killed the Jedi, hadn't he? Surely he wouldn't be coming back to Coruscant so soon if he hadn't.
/Completed,/ Luke replied. /The Jedi is dead./ There was a twinge of emotion at that, there and gone so quickly that Vader could not identify it. /But for now, I need to report to the Emperor, so if you'll excuse me?/
Always polite, his son. /Of course,/ Vader returned, and closed the connection.
Always polite...but rarely evasive, and if Luke's excuse of reporting to the Emperor wasn't an evasion, then Vader didn't know what one was.
Something had clearly happened on the mission, and it was obviously something to do with the Jedi. But Vader had felt no deceit over the bond, so Luke had fulfilled his orders and killed the Jedi. Was he feeling guilty? Vader was well aware that Luke did not hate the Jedi as he himself did, even after Vader's stories of atrocities the Jedi committed, such as keeping him away from his mother until she was nearly dead, and trying to assassinate the then-Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, and many more. But was that lack of hatred going to cripple him in the execution of his duty?
"--Lord Vader? Lord Vader, do you have any thoughts on my proposed deployment of part of the reserve fleet?" a droning admiral asked, cutting into Vader's thoughts.
To cover up his lack of attention, Vader snapped, "Surely you do not need me to hold your hand as you strategize, Admiral? I will decide on a course of action after I have heard all of the proposals. Unless you feel that you deserve more consideration than your colleagues?"
Vader watched in dark satisfaction as the admiral gulped, paling, and raised a hand to loosen the neck of his uniform, which he likely imagined to be tightening around his throat--though it was not his uniform. "N-no, Lord Vader!" the admiral gasped, and Vader eased off the pressure.
There was silence around the conference table for a moment, each admiral looking nervously at another. Finally Vader said, sharply, "Surely you have not all lost your tongues? Who is next?"
After another moment of numbing silence, an admiral on the far side of the table stood up, pale beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. He haltingly began to speak, gaining more confidence when no phantom hands closed around his throat, and the conference continued.
The meeting went by with the speed of a granite slug, and by the time it was over, Vader wanted to scream with impatience and annoyance. He wanted to kill that last admiral, whose presentation went on far longer than it should have, but "he talked too much" was not a valid reason for the execution of a competent officer, according to the Emperor. Pity. Still, he likely wouldn't forget the way fingers felt closing around his throat anytime soon, even if Vader had purposely not cut off his air. At least no one had questioned him when Vader said that he would think further on the proposals and give them their orders the next day.
Luke wasn't there when Vader arrived back at their palace. He was most likely still reporting to the Emperor, and Vader found himself again resenting his master. It seemed to be happening more and more in recent years, and usually in regards to something to do with his son.
It had been something of an unwelcome revelation when Vader realized that his son was more important to him than his duty to the Emperor--but only unwelcome because it had to immediately be hidden from everyone. The Emperor would not appreciate knowing that he was not unequivocally first in his servant's thoughts anymore, and so it was safer for both him and Luke for the Emperor not to know of his apprentice's shifting allegiances.
He'd barely sunk into a light meditative trance when he felt Luke's presence close on his own. He immediately abandoned the meditation; Luke, and the unsettling emotions coming from him, were far more important.
"Son," Vader called, as soon as Luke emerged from the turbolift onto their wing.
"Father," Luke replied, walking closer until he was directly in front of his father, and then stepping up to walk by his side as Vader turned and they strode towards the private library on the floor, their favorite place to sit and talk. "How has Coruscant been?"
Immediate distraction from Luke's own mission, Vader noted, instead of Luke's customary discussion of the details, assuming that had not been forbidden him. "As usual," he replied. "No crises came up while you were away," he added with amusement, knowing of his son's predilection for taking care of things personally. The boy had no idea of how to delegate properly. Though of course, with the type of missions he ordinarily went on, he wouldn't.
Luke smiled briefly at him, recognizing the good-natured jab for what it was. "What were you doing when I landed? You felt annoyed when you contacted me," he commented, still apparently determined not to discuss his mission. Vader's curiosity about it grew, but he would wait and play his son's game.
"I was dealing with long-winded admirals," Vader said, suppressing a sigh. Not that he was much for patience in any case, but administrative procedures seemed to bring out the worst part of his impatience.
"Did any leave the meeting?" Luke asked wryly, obviously knowing well his father's dislike of administration.
"All of them, if you would believe it."
Luke smiled slightly, and let out a low, brief chuckle. Vader smiled behind his mask, and how strange that the smile came more and more easily, ever since Luke had moved in with him, and that it wasn't painful anymore. Or perhaps not so strange. Luke, on the other hand, seemed to be smiling and laughing less and less as time went by. Vader would often tell himself that he would finally ask his son why, but something always came up.
Maybe now was the time to ask.
But before he could get a chance to, before he could even think of how to phrase the question, Luke said, quietly, and looking at his hands, "The Jedi tried to recruit me."
At that, all thought of Luke's growing melancholy flew out of his head. "What?" he demanded, more out of surprise than a request for repetition. Then it started sinking in, and Vader's fists started clenching, almost of their own accord.
"He tried to recruit me," Luke repeated anyway. "I took off the cloak, because it would have gotten tangled in the fight, and he thought I was a child and tried to get me to go with him and be a Jedi."
The Jedi tried to take my son away from me again. The thought bloomed, horrifying, and Vader almost reached out to touch Luke to make sure that he was really there, that the Jedi weren't playing tricks on his mind by making him think his son was right there with him when he was gone. But then he mentally shook himself; he was being ridiculous, Luke was here, here and not somewhere else, not taken away by the Jedi.
"What happened?" Vader asked, and was shaken anew when he realized the depth his fear went at the thought that he could so easily lose the last family he had left. When had it come to this? After Padmé had died, it had seemed all the love in the galaxy had died with her, but now there was his son...
Luke looked up again and smiled, an echo of his mother in the curve of his lips, then reached out and laid his hand on Vader's forearm, as if he'd sensed the desire for reassurance. He might have, at that; Luke was very powerful, and Vader's shielding was not optimal, thanks to the horrible thought of how quickly and easily Luke could have left his life...
But Luke said, normally and without the gentleness that Vader didn't want, "He's dead now, isn't he? I would never have gone with him. Besides," Luke added with a smirk, "there wasn't really much he could teach me, was there? I was the one who found him and then defeated him. I was more powerful and better trained than he was."
Relief. Almost overwhelming relief, but... "Tell me everything," Vader demanded.
Luke shrugged--a comfortable, impolite gesture that Vader had broken him of in public, but decided to leave be when it was just the two of them. He didn't want to stifle his son. "Not much, really," Luke replied. "He was shielded when I got there, but I'm more powerful, so it wasn't that hard to find him. When I did, he tried to recruit me. He failed, and we fought. I'd just killed him when that Mara Jade showed up and shot his body." Luke's eyes flashed, briefly.
Vader frowned. "She shot a dead man?"
"She said it was orders," Luke said, carefully, and Vader received the impression that he'd left this bit off in his report to Palpatine. He obviously believed that Vader would not correct the omission, and Vader was flattered by the faith his son had in him. Not many trusted him so.
"She didn't say anything else on the subject?" Vader queried, but not in the hope of any real answer. The Emperor's Hand was surely too much of a professional to give too much away.
"I didn't ask," Luke answered, "but if I had, I don't think I would have gotten any answer. But I didn't really need anything else. The Emperor gave her those orders, and he must have done so for a reason. He doesn't trust me."
It was said so baldly and calmly that Vader could almost believe that his son was truly unemotional about it, if the boy hadn't just days before been so despondent at the thought that he was unnecessary.
Vader didn't reply. What could he say? He knew that Palpatine didn't trust Luke, and he didn't lie to his son.
But then something simmered up from his subconscious. Hadn't he thought, just before meeting his son, that Luke was more important to him than his loyalty to Palpatine? Luke, his son and student, who accepted him and cared about him and was loyal to him, as opposed to an old man who manipulated him and wanted him solely for his power, who'd expressed false sympathy when telling him of his wife's death, while secretly being glad? In Vader's mind there was no contest between the two.
The only problem was Palpatine, and his power and cunning and experience. But with the two of them, the Skywalkers, the children of the Force itself, perhaps that would not be much of a problem after all.
He didn't even notice that he'd thought of himself as a Skywalker again.
"That does not matter," Vader said firmly, finally. "You are more powerful than he is. He does not trust you because he fears you."
He began to speak, and it seemed, then, that there was no turning back.
--
Luke leaned his head against the datashelves, right below the box of what was supposed to be datacards about Corvis Minor and was in reality a holdout blaster for whoever knew the secret of the Imperial Palace's libraries. This particular blaster was hidden in a holster strapped to his wrist, ready to fall into his hand at a twitch.
Luke didn't like blasters very much. So inelegant, even if they did get the job done. A lightsaber was a much better weapon, suited just as much to defense as to attack, with a beauty that a blaster would never have. Luke's was back in his own quarters; people recognized a lightsaber, and recognized too just who was able to wield one, and there was no point in having it with him if he couldn't use it without being recognized.
He closed his eyes and sighed, trying not to think. There was too much to think about, and the thoughts kept swirling around in his mind, getting mixed up and coming but incoherently.
"What are you doing here?" a voice asked, rarely heard but familiar enough. Mara Jade.
"...Learning by osmosis," Luke replied wryly, not wanting to take the effort to make sense just then. He cracked open one eye just to see her raise an eyebrow at him.
"Is it working?" she asked, crouching down next to him.
Luke smiled. "No," he admitted. "Maybe if I were a datapad..."
She laughed softly, and Luke let his head roll back, still smiling. He liked the sound of her laugh. He wasn't sure what to think of her, herself, but she had a nice laugh.
"So what are you doing?" she pressed, and sat down cross-legged beside him on the floor.
"Sitting," he replied. "Sitting and thinking. Meditating, maybe. Why are you here?"
"I was doing research," she answered, "and I saw you. I wondered what you were doing."
"Don't let me keep you from your research," he said, and told his muscles to relax. Why had they stiffened?
She made no move to get up. "I was almost done anyway," she said, and shifted so that she too was sitting with her back to a shelf. "It'll be no problem to finish later."
"Why are you here?" Luke asked again, because there was another why to answer.
She knew what he was asking, and told him, hesitantly, "You looked lonely."
Luke left his eyes closed, and fought down the urge to laugh, though one without true humor. Lonely! As if lonely mattered, to a person in his position. Sith Lords were probably supposed to be lonely. Besides, he had his father. He didn't need a friend.
Wanting wasn't the same as needing. It wouldn't be even if he wanted Mara Jade for a friend, when she was probably just a spy for Palpatine anyway.
But he still found himself answering her, and more honestly than he would have liked. "Sometimes," he said finally.
"Is now one of those times?" she asked. Maybe now she thought that because he told her something, he would tell her everything. Was she a spy for Palpatine, right here and right now? She was his Hand, Luke knew, but surely she had a self beyond that identity, just as Luke and his father had identities beyond being Sith Lords.
And he did want a friend. He'd acknowledged it when he first met her, but it had been a safe desire then, because he thought it would never be fulfilled. This was dangerous, here and now, when there were so many things he did not know.
But what was life if not risk, and what was life worth if he took no risks?
"Yes," he said, the word escaping him in a sigh, his eyes now open to look at this strange girl who wanted to befriend a Sith Lord. "I am lonely."
She looked at him soberly, and there was something familiar in her gaze. He saw it often in the mirror. Alone with him, in a dark, almost unused corner of the thirty-second floor library in the Imperial Palace, she said, "Sometimes so am I."
It felt sincere. She looked sincere. Luke hated not knowing for sure.
He closed his eyes for a moment, and opened them again just in time to see her frown. "Look, Lord Umber--"
"Luke," he said softly, and looked her in the eyes, blue to green.
"What?" she asked, and blinked.
"My name is Luke," he told her. "Luke Skywalker."
"Luke," she repeated softly. "Strange...I never thought about Sith Lords having real names. It seems a bit...mundane."
Luke laughed, a quiet laugh that was swallowed up by the shelves. "I wasn't always a Sith Lord," he replied. "Neither was my father. We've both got names, though he never uses his anymore. I am...more attached to mine."
"Luke," she said again, and her forehead furrowed as if in thought. "Meaning light?"
"Yes," he said, with some amusement, and wasn't surprised that she knew what his name meant. "Ironic, isn't it?"
"Very," she replied with a small smile. "Luke and Umber. Light and shadow. I assume that was conscious?"
"I think so," he said, looking at her smile. "The Emperor chose it, and it fits his sense of humor."
She nodded, and then her expression lost its levity. "Look, Luke..." She sighed. "You probably won't believe me, but I'm not here for any ulterior motive, besides friendship."
Luke looked at her, levelly, and she didn't look away. "Why?" he asked frankly, that in itself a wealth of questions.
She shrugged, and Luke bit back a smile at the informal gesture. "Because I think we're similar," she replied, with equal frankness. "And because I've never met another person my age who knew exactly who and what I was."
"...Me neither," Luke confessed. "I didn't like you knowing who I was, at first, because not many people do." She nodded at his words, as if she knew exactly what he meant. She probably did, at that. "But," he said, curiously, "how did you know I wouldn't punish you for your overtures?"
She smiled at him. "You could have tried," she said dryly. "I'm not helpless."
Something in Luke cooled at those words and that irreverence, even from someone he was already starting to consider a friend, and he unconsciously straightened. "I don't try," he said, voice barely above a whisper, so that she had to lean forward to hear him clearly. "Do not be fooled, Mara Jade. Young or not, lonely or not, I am still a fully trained Sith Lord. Do not underestimate me."
She grew silent for a moment, the sound of their breathing the only thing to be heard. "Mara," she said finally, and Luke blinked as the moment was broken. "Call me Mara."
He laughed at that, and felt warm again. He liked that she refused to be intimidated. "Mara, then," he said agreeably.
Then her eyes chilled a bit as well. "Don't underestimate me either," she said, a clear warning. "I may not be a Sith Lord, but I'm not helpless."
"I know," Luke replied. "You would not have come to Ord Mantell if you were."
Any remaining laughter between them died at the mention of Ord Mantell. "I'm not sorry for shooting him, you know," she told him, voice quiet enough to barely disturb the dust motes dancing in the dim light.
"Of course not," he replied, wondering that she would think he thought she should be. He could not fault a tool for the uses its wielder put it to, and he knew that that was what Mara Jade--and he himself, for that matter--was, for all that they were supposed to be people. "Orders must be followed, even if I personally do not see the wisdom in shooting a dead man."
She smirked at him. "Glad you understand," she said tartly, and smiled at him when he laughed. He got the impression that she was not used to explaining herself to anyone besides the Emperor.
Well, at least she didn't seem to know that he was lying about the Jedi having been dead. His father hadn't sensed it either. It was his secret.
He was tired of secrets. When he was a child, it seemed to be lies that made up his life, and now it was secrets.
This friendship would probably be a secret, too. His father would never trust Mara Jade; Luke wasn't even sure why he did, but he found that it was true: he did trust her, or at least was starting to. And Palpatine...he didn't like that someone might have loyalty to a person who was not him, and friendship was partly based on loyalty. Luke remembered that from Biggs, who had sworn to keep the secret of Luke's parentage and who cared about him despite knowing that he was the son of one of the Empire's most feared figures.
Another secret...there were so many of them. But one more surely wouldn't hurt, and a friendship here, in the last place he ever thought to find friends, was worth it.
--
//She is tracing circles on his chest with a finger, a relaxing habit of hers that she usually falls into after they make love.
"Don't let your guard down," she says incongruously, her head pillowed on his shoulder and tucked beneath his chin. "He is still very dangerous."
He strokes her hair, the strands waving and curling against her naked back. She is so very warm, with an inner heat that reminds him of home. He loves the feeling of her pressed to his side, her body soft and yielding against his.
"I know," he tells her, with a comfortable lack of confusion. "I won't forget."
She raises her head and slides up to look him in the eye. "Don't get complacent," she warns again. "Otherwise he'll destroy you."
That surprises him into a laugh. "Don't worry about me," he says, and leans forward to kiss her softly on the lips. "He's not powerful enough to destroy me."
She puts a hand against his cheek, strokes the skin beneath his eye with her thumb. "Physical destruction is not the only kind," she says. "Watch out for our son. He's just a boy."
He almost sits straight up at that, but she is draped over him and he doesn't want to move her. "He wouldn't touch him," he says, and tries to believe it. "Not Luke."
"You know better than that," she whispers, and he tries to relax. "Luke is strong, but he's got his weaknesses. He could be taken advantage of."
"I won't let anything happen to him," he promises. She smiles at him, and kisses him, once on his forehead and then on his lips.
Then she melts against him, the heat of her warming something inside him. He tries to pull her closer, but she is still melting. "Don't let your guard down," she says once again.
Then she is gone.//
Vader's eyes snapped open, and for one of the few times in his life he was grateful to the respirator that regulated his breathing. He might have hyperventilated if it had been possible.
It was a dream, obviously. It could not have been reality--there was no Padmé by his side--
Just a dream. His mind calmed down as he repeated it to himself. Just a dream.
Except it wasn't a dream, because it didn't feel like a dream, it felt like when the Force was trying to tell him something. And the last time he'd dreamed like that, it had been of Padmé, and then she--
Vader's heart almost stopped at the implications. Luke. This dream had been about Luke. Of course, he hadn't actually seen his son dying, not the way he had his mother and his wife, but it was just as much a warning as those had been.
He stood up, abandoning the possibility of going back to sleep. He didn't want another dream like that.
--Padmé pressed against his body, kissing him--
Why had she been there? He started pacing, hands clasped together behind his back. Had it even been Padmé, her spirit sent by the Force to warn him, or had it just been a manifestation of his subconscious need for her--No I don't, I don't need her, I am Darth Vader and I don't need anyone--paired with a premonition from the Force?
Luke was in danger. That much was simple and clear. So too was the cause of the danger: whom else could it be but Palpatine, the only one who existed with both the power and the motivation to hurt his son?
Vader was struck with a sudden urge to see his son, one so strong that he was out of the door and striding down the hall toward his son's room almost before he'd made the decision to do so.
It was the middle of the night and he felt Luke sleeping, but his son was a light sleeper. He might wake up if Vader looked in on him, and wonder what Vader was doing there. And Vader didn't want to explain. Not right then, at least. Luke would have to be told soon, so that he wouldn't get complacent around Palpatine either, but Vader just needed to look at his son and see that he was safe...
But Luke didn't wake up when the door quietly slid open. Vader stepped into the room and let the door close behind him before moving closer, and looking down at his son's sleeping face. His mouth was open, and his tousled hair stuck up on the pillow. Through the infrared scanners on his helmet's lenses, Vader could see Luke's eyes rapidly moving behind his eyelids, and knew that his son was deeply asleep.
Then something in Luke's face changed. It twisted, as if in pain, and his teeth came together in an audible clack, his exhaling breath quickening and coming out in a hiss. Quicker than a thought, Vader's hand came up to rest on his son's forehead, smoothing the furrowed brow, soothing his son into better dreams. As Luke's face relaxed and his breathing evened out, Vader took his hand away and stood back to consider.
Luke had been dreaming too, and unpleasantly. That didn't bode well. He and Luke were the most powerful Force-users in the galaxy, not even Palpatine excepted, and if they both were having portentous dreams...
Vader looked down on his son, sleeping peacefully now. It could not be coincidence that these dreams came hard on the heels of Luke's killing of the Jedi, and his and Vader's subsequent discussion. Coincidence was just as much an illusion as luck. It had to be the Force warning them.
Luke shifted, sighed heavily, legs tangled in his blankets. "Father," he murmured, the sound almost lost in the sigh, and so quiet. "Father..."
Vader leaned forward again, and smoothed the hair away from his son's forehead. Then he turned and left, determined to meditate and think on the source of the threat--and how to stop it from harming Luke.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-09 07:46 pm (UTC)The Emperor would not appreciate knowing that he was not unequivocally first in his servant's thoughts anymore, and so it was safer for both him and Luke for the Emperor not to know of his apprentice's shifting allegiances.
I like this idea of the Emperor putting himself on some pedestal like three-year-olds do.
After Padmé had died, it had seemed all the love in the galaxy had died with her, but now there was his son...
Oh, dramatic Vader emotions like this always sucker me in.
"Luke and Umber. Light and shadow. I assume that was conscious?"
"I think so," he said, looking at her smile. "The Emperor chose it, and it fits his sense of humor."
This is my favorite slice of interplay from Luke and Mara.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 04:45 am (UTC)I like this idea of the Emperor putting himself on some pedestal like three-year-olds do.
Ahahaha. He is very selfish...I guess part of him didn't age past three. :p
Oh, dramatic Vader emotions like this always sucker me in.
There's plenty more where that's from. *g*
I'm glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2006-01-10 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 04:43 am (UTC)And you don't have to worry about me continuing; the story is finished, it's just not done being betad. :)