[fic] Heartbeat (PG13/R)
Oct. 6th, 2004 05:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynneTitle: Heartbeat
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Pairing: Cloud/Zack
Rating: PG13/R
Summary: Zack is so much more than a dream...
Author's notes: For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
losselen, and I'm sorry that it took so long as is quite short. Also, thanks to jurhael for looking it over. :) First thing I've written that's over a couple hundred words that's not HP... Timeline is probably just after the first trip to Gongaga, I think. Somewhere around there.
When Cloud closes his eyes and opens them again, he is surrounded by green. But gentle green, soft green, not green like Mako and Hojo and burning burning burning. Healing green.
“Hello, Zack,” Cloud says, his voice echoing, bouncing off liquid emerald walls. Cloud isn’t sure whether he’s glad that this is a dream or not.
“I never can fool you, can I?” a voice from behind him says, and Cloud turns around to face Zack’s smile, familiar smile, happy, encouraging smile.
“Not while I’m dreaming,” Cloud replies, and Zack laughs, a low chuckle that reverberates in Cloud’s spine, and ohhhh, Cloud has missed the way Zack laughed.
“Of course you are,” Zack grins, “but do you mind? Dreams can be so much more than reality…”
“But they can be so much less, too.” Cloud looks down at his feet. “You’re dead, Zack. And I’ve forgotten you, out there.” He waves a hand vaguely in the green to indicate the waking world.
“I’m not dead,” Zack says, suddenly serious. “I’m alive as long as you are. And you haven’t forgotten me. You know who I am here, don’t you?”
Cloud makes a frustrated noise. “But only here,” he protests. “Out there…” Again he makes the waving motion. “Out there, I’ve forgotten you even existed. I’ve taken part of you and am passing it off as me. I’m…”
Zack’s cool hand on his chin stops him, those strong fingers forcing his face up so that the two can look each other in the eye. “That’s all right with me,” Zack says solemnly. “If that’s what you need in order to survive, I’m just glad that I could help. And,” he grins slyly, “it does mean that I’m closer to you now, and can come to you in these dreams the way I do.”
Cloud smiles softly. “I’m glad,” he says quietly. “I’ve…missed you, ever since…ever since.” He does not name that day when Shinra troops shot Zack down, and Zack does not call him on it. It’s not a day either really wishes to remember.
Zack reaches out and takes hold of Cloud’s shoulders, bringing him closer to wrap arms around his back. “I’m not leaving you alone again,” he murmurs. “Now that Seph’s gone insane…watch out for him, Cloud. He didn’t get to be Shinra’s best general for nothing.”
Cloud sighs. “I know, Zack,” he says, and rubs a hand against his forehead. Tired…could one be tired in a dream? Apparently so, for Cloud was, even with Zack’s comforting presence all around him, permeating the green. “I remember Nibelheim…” Cloud gives an involuntary shudder, and Zack’s arms tighten around him.
“Seph owes you for that,” Zack says quietly. “You collect when it comes time to, you hear me?”
Cloud nods, and rests his head against Zack’s chest. For once, being so short seems to be an advantage, for he can hear Zack’s heart beat, thumping away in his chest, though Cloud isn’t sure Zack should even have a heartbeat, for isn’t he a dream, and dead besides? But it doesn’t matter now…
“Let’s not think about him now,” Cloud murmurs. “I’ve had nothing but thinking of him, of Shinra, of battles and Mako and monsters, for so long…” He yawns, and settles more solidly against Zack’s chest. “I don’t want to think about them anymore. There’s enough of that in the waking world,” he finishes.
Zack smiles. “Very well,” he says, shifting so that Cloud fits more comfortably in his arms. Thump thump thump goes Zack’s heart, and Cloud has his ear pressed against it. Feeling that heartbeat, after Cloud has gone so long without any contact that is not the tear of monsters’ claws against his flesh, or the memory of Sephiroth’s Masamune sliding wetly through his flesh…a memory that won’t leave him, even if it fits itself to Zack’s memories.
And Zack leaning his head down to Cloud’s and pressing a kiss into those defiant blond spikes, and Cloud can feel the warmth of Zack’s body even as the green flows around them, the Lifestream, the journey of souls through death and rebirth…Cloud wonders, suddenly, if Zack is around him too. Zack, as if hearing Cloud’s thoughts, chuckles gently.
“I was in there,” he whispers to Cloud’s ear, “but you called me, and so I came.”
Cloud sighed in relief, pulling back to smile into Zack’s eyes. “I’m glad,” he says simply. “I want you here with me.”
And then he leans forward and kisses him, Zack’s lips cool and soft at a touch, and so inviting, and Cloud wants moremoremore. Dreams are both not enough and better than life, because they’re just dreams and they’re not real, but that’s all right because Cloud doesn’t like reality much anyway. Reality is burning cold and laughs and calls you a specimen, and in reality Zack is dead so of course dreams are to be preferred.
“I miss you,” Cloud murmurs against Zack’s lips. “I miss you and I’m not cut out to be a leader and you would be so much better than I am…”
Zack silences him with another kiss, showing his confidence in Cloud through butterfly touches all across his body, and Cloud knows that Zack at least thinks he’s done a good enough job so far.
And being naked in this green is so much better than being naked in the other green, with clothes wished away and dropped like so much excess baggage that leaves them unconfined. This green is pleasantly warm against Cloud’s skin, welcoming him and strengthening him, and the other green is fiery ice lancing itself deeper and deeper until it’s impossible to extricate. But this green has Zack tenderly brushing hair away from his forehead and placing openmouthed kisses on his neck and just warmth on his skin and between his fingers and behind his eyelids, and it’s so, so nice.
“Cloud,” Zack whispers. “Cloud, Cloud, Cloud.”
“Zack,” Cloud sighs, and relaxes into Zack’s embrace more fully, brushing skin against skin, forehead against forehead, lips against lips.
And Cloud closes his eyes, feels Zack, feels – it’s so much more than a dream, but it’s not reality, not harsh enough to be reality, it’s too soft and the green is too inviting and oh. It’s Zack he feels, ZackZackZack, around him and inside him and holding him and kissing him, and he cries out –
“Cloud,” Zack whispers again, brushing back spikes of hair.
“Zack,” Cloud replies softly, opening his eyes again and smiling. Zack returns the smile, tucks Cloud’s head under his chin.
“Sleep, Cloud,” he says. “I will watch over your dreams…”
And Cloud falls asleep, listening to the thumpthumpthump of Zack’s heartbeat.
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Pairing: Cloud/Zack
Rating: PG13/R
Summary: Zack is so much more than a dream...
Author's notes: For
losselen, and I'm sorry that it took so long as is quite short. Also, thanks to jurhael for looking it over. :) First thing I've written that's over a couple hundred words that's not HP... Timeline is probably just after the first trip to Gongaga, I think. Somewhere around there.When Cloud closes his eyes and opens them again, he is surrounded by green. But gentle green, soft green, not green like Mako and Hojo and burning burning burning. Healing green.
“Hello, Zack,” Cloud says, his voice echoing, bouncing off liquid emerald walls. Cloud isn’t sure whether he’s glad that this is a dream or not.
“I never can fool you, can I?” a voice from behind him says, and Cloud turns around to face Zack’s smile, familiar smile, happy, encouraging smile.
“Not while I’m dreaming,” Cloud replies, and Zack laughs, a low chuckle that reverberates in Cloud’s spine, and ohhhh, Cloud has missed the way Zack laughed.
“Of course you are,” Zack grins, “but do you mind? Dreams can be so much more than reality…”
“But they can be so much less, too.” Cloud looks down at his feet. “You’re dead, Zack. And I’ve forgotten you, out there.” He waves a hand vaguely in the green to indicate the waking world.
“I’m not dead,” Zack says, suddenly serious. “I’m alive as long as you are. And you haven’t forgotten me. You know who I am here, don’t you?”
Cloud makes a frustrated noise. “But only here,” he protests. “Out there…” Again he makes the waving motion. “Out there, I’ve forgotten you even existed. I’ve taken part of you and am passing it off as me. I’m…”
Zack’s cool hand on his chin stops him, those strong fingers forcing his face up so that the two can look each other in the eye. “That’s all right with me,” Zack says solemnly. “If that’s what you need in order to survive, I’m just glad that I could help. And,” he grins slyly, “it does mean that I’m closer to you now, and can come to you in these dreams the way I do.”
Cloud smiles softly. “I’m glad,” he says quietly. “I’ve…missed you, ever since…ever since.” He does not name that day when Shinra troops shot Zack down, and Zack does not call him on it. It’s not a day either really wishes to remember.
Zack reaches out and takes hold of Cloud’s shoulders, bringing him closer to wrap arms around his back. “I’m not leaving you alone again,” he murmurs. “Now that Seph’s gone insane…watch out for him, Cloud. He didn’t get to be Shinra’s best general for nothing.”
Cloud sighs. “I know, Zack,” he says, and rubs a hand against his forehead. Tired…could one be tired in a dream? Apparently so, for Cloud was, even with Zack’s comforting presence all around him, permeating the green. “I remember Nibelheim…” Cloud gives an involuntary shudder, and Zack’s arms tighten around him.
“Seph owes you for that,” Zack says quietly. “You collect when it comes time to, you hear me?”
Cloud nods, and rests his head against Zack’s chest. For once, being so short seems to be an advantage, for he can hear Zack’s heart beat, thumping away in his chest, though Cloud isn’t sure Zack should even have a heartbeat, for isn’t he a dream, and dead besides? But it doesn’t matter now…
“Let’s not think about him now,” Cloud murmurs. “I’ve had nothing but thinking of him, of Shinra, of battles and Mako and monsters, for so long…” He yawns, and settles more solidly against Zack’s chest. “I don’t want to think about them anymore. There’s enough of that in the waking world,” he finishes.
Zack smiles. “Very well,” he says, shifting so that Cloud fits more comfortably in his arms. Thump thump thump goes Zack’s heart, and Cloud has his ear pressed against it. Feeling that heartbeat, after Cloud has gone so long without any contact that is not the tear of monsters’ claws against his flesh, or the memory of Sephiroth’s Masamune sliding wetly through his flesh…a memory that won’t leave him, even if it fits itself to Zack’s memories.
And Zack leaning his head down to Cloud’s and pressing a kiss into those defiant blond spikes, and Cloud can feel the warmth of Zack’s body even as the green flows around them, the Lifestream, the journey of souls through death and rebirth…Cloud wonders, suddenly, if Zack is around him too. Zack, as if hearing Cloud’s thoughts, chuckles gently.
“I was in there,” he whispers to Cloud’s ear, “but you called me, and so I came.”
Cloud sighed in relief, pulling back to smile into Zack’s eyes. “I’m glad,” he says simply. “I want you here with me.”
And then he leans forward and kisses him, Zack’s lips cool and soft at a touch, and so inviting, and Cloud wants moremoremore. Dreams are both not enough and better than life, because they’re just dreams and they’re not real, but that’s all right because Cloud doesn’t like reality much anyway. Reality is burning cold and laughs and calls you a specimen, and in reality Zack is dead so of course dreams are to be preferred.
“I miss you,” Cloud murmurs against Zack’s lips. “I miss you and I’m not cut out to be a leader and you would be so much better than I am…”
Zack silences him with another kiss, showing his confidence in Cloud through butterfly touches all across his body, and Cloud knows that Zack at least thinks he’s done a good enough job so far.
And being naked in this green is so much better than being naked in the other green, with clothes wished away and dropped like so much excess baggage that leaves them unconfined. This green is pleasantly warm against Cloud’s skin, welcoming him and strengthening him, and the other green is fiery ice lancing itself deeper and deeper until it’s impossible to extricate. But this green has Zack tenderly brushing hair away from his forehead and placing openmouthed kisses on his neck and just warmth on his skin and between his fingers and behind his eyelids, and it’s so, so nice.
“Cloud,” Zack whispers. “Cloud, Cloud, Cloud.”
“Zack,” Cloud sighs, and relaxes into Zack’s embrace more fully, brushing skin against skin, forehead against forehead, lips against lips.
And Cloud closes his eyes, feels Zack, feels – it’s so much more than a dream, but it’s not reality, not harsh enough to be reality, it’s too soft and the green is too inviting and oh. It’s Zack he feels, ZackZackZack, around him and inside him and holding him and kissing him, and he cries out –
“Cloud,” Zack whispers again, brushing back spikes of hair.
“Zack,” Cloud replies softly, opening his eyes again and smiling. Zack returns the smile, tucks Cloud’s head under his chin.
“Sleep, Cloud,” he says. “I will watch over your dreams…”
And Cloud falls asleep, listening to the thumpthumpthump of Zack’s heartbeat.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-10-06 06:55 pm (UTC)It's so quiet and sad and !!!!!!! Thankyou thankyou thankyou!
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Date: 2004-10-07 02:51 pm (UTC)