On writing
Oct. 2nd, 2004 07:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynneI think part of my inability to really write on this computer is that I don't feel safe doing so. Everyone in my family comes into this room at one point or another during the day, and sometimes they take a look at what I'm doing, and while they all know that I write fanfic, I just don't feel safe doing it right in front of them. Especially if it gets explicit. I just thought of something I want to put in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
losselen's Cloud/Zack, for example, but my dad is in the room right now, and dude, who can write video game gay smut with their dad in the room laughing at them?
Though of course, the reason my dad is in the room is because he's currently on the phone with Tech Support, trying to fix my computer so I can use it again. Which is good. Then I can write again.
And of course, it's not just the Cloud/Zack that I want to write. I've got this fic in mind that will probably take on a life of its own and stretch me thin in the process, but it's just so much what I want. It's likemusesfool writing "You Showed Me", her fic that is what she loves in fic, and I have mine developing in my mind, and god it's frustrating not feeling safe enough on this computer to write it down.
And too, it doesn't help that I seem to have this compulsion to write. Like if I didn't write, didn't get these stories out of my head and down on paper (or computer, rather), I'd feel full to bursting and on pins and needles and everything so uncomfortable as that. I don't know how good I am yet, but it doesn't really matter to me, as long as I've told the story I want to tell in a way that satisfies me. Of course, it may not satisfy me later, like how I wince at some of my earlier stories and wish them into the darkest pits of hell, so maybe I am improving, and that's all right too.
But writing just is it, for me. It's just part of what I am. Writing stories, writing fanfic, that's part of it, but not all of it. It's also this livejournal, posting at FAP, whatever. Writing down my thoughts. Writing stories is a lot of it--I'm not very good at articulating my own theories about what will happen or has happened in HP, so I use the vehicle of a story to do so.
So anyway, a question, and part of whatever point this entry has--what is writing to you? Some of you are authors, some artists, some just readers, but writing has to mean something to you, and I want to know what.
losselen's Cloud/Zack, for example, but my dad is in the room right now, and dude, who can write video game gay smut with their dad in the room laughing at them?Though of course, the reason my dad is in the room is because he's currently on the phone with Tech Support, trying to fix my computer so I can use it again. Which is good. Then I can write again.
And of course, it's not just the Cloud/Zack that I want to write. I've got this fic in mind that will probably take on a life of its own and stretch me thin in the process, but it's just so much what I want. It's like
musesfool writing "You Showed Me", her fic that is what she loves in fic, and I have mine developing in my mind, and god it's frustrating not feeling safe enough on this computer to write it down.And too, it doesn't help that I seem to have this compulsion to write. Like if I didn't write, didn't get these stories out of my head and down on paper (or computer, rather), I'd feel full to bursting and on pins and needles and everything so uncomfortable as that. I don't know how good I am yet, but it doesn't really matter to me, as long as I've told the story I want to tell in a way that satisfies me. Of course, it may not satisfy me later, like how I wince at some of my earlier stories and wish them into the darkest pits of hell, so maybe I am improving, and that's all right too.
But writing just is it, for me. It's just part of what I am. Writing stories, writing fanfic, that's part of it, but not all of it. It's also this livejournal, posting at FAP, whatever. Writing down my thoughts. Writing stories is a lot of it--I'm not very good at articulating my own theories about what will happen or has happened in HP, so I use the vehicle of a story to do so.
So anyway, a question, and part of whatever point this entry has--what is writing to you? Some of you are authors, some artists, some just readers, but writing has to mean something to you, and I want to know what.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-10-02 07:41 pm (UTC)*thinks about C/Z smut*
*thinks*
no subject
Date: 2004-10-02 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-02 08:15 pm (UTC)On writing.
Date: 2004-10-02 09:35 pm (UTC)I've said before over the past couple of years that writing is my drug, and I still think it's true. I don't need drugs when I'm high on the creative burst that comes with writing. Whether be it poetry or a screenplay, fanfic or original fiction, it doesn't seem to matter. I get hyper, energetic, even bouncy when an idea hits, and when I don't get those ideas, it feels like I'm drained, empty, hollow. I go through withdrawal. *twitch*
I think... It's my drug, it's my therapy, it's my passion.
Yeah, I go overboard with it, but hey, it's the truth. :)
Good luck on getting the computer back soon.