[ficlet] It's All Freudian (PG-13)
Nov. 11th, 2004 08:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rynneJust so you know, I blame ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lykaios for this. *nods firmly*
Title: It's All Freudian
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Telling James about Freud helps him understand why precisely Remus keeps helping Sirius with his "revising".
"You know," Remus said, "it's all very Freudian."
James looked puzzled. “Freud? Isn’t he that bloke with the ego and the superego, and the…what was it…”
“Id,” Sirius added helpfully from where he was lying on his stomach on his bed. He and Remus shared a smile that James didn’t notice.
James flapped a hand in acknowledgment. “Right, right. The id, the ego, and the superego. Only I never could remember which one was which…anyway, that was Freud, right?”
“Right,” Remus said. “Only that’s not all Freud talked about.”
“Mostly he talked about sex,” Sirius said, “which is why I’m surprised you don’t know all that there is to know about him, Prongs.” Sirius grinned.
James pushed up his glasses and ignored Sirius’s last comment. “So I’m supposed to pay attention to this bloke because he talked about sex a lot? That means I’d have to pay attention to Padfoot here…”
“Hey,” Sirius objected good-naturedly. He mock-glared at James, and then laughed.
“As I was saying,” Remus spoke over Sirius and James, “what James said is very Freudian.”
James looked baffled. “What?” he asked. “That you need to ease up on Sirius and give him a break from making him revise all the time because all the girls will think he’s gay when he spends all his time with you? How’s that Freudian?”
Sirius shook his head mournfully, trying almost successfully to hold back an amused grin. “Now Prongsy, what did we just tell you about Freud?”
“He talked about sex all the time,” James muttered sulkily. “Don’t see what sex’s got to do with you and Moony spending all your time toge—” He stopped short, and looked with narrowed eyes at the other two. Remus seemed to be hiding sniggers behind a hand, and Sirius wasn’t even bothering to hold back his grin anymore.
“Look, Moony, I think he gets it!” Sirius started chuckling.
“I think he does,” Remus agreed. He shared a glance with Sirius, and in that moment, James wondered that he hadn’t gotten it before.
Then the moment was gone, and James gritted his teeth, annoyed at them and him. “How?” he asked, right before it occurred to him that maybe he didn’t want to know.
“Well,” Remus said, tapping his lips with a quill, “it all began when I woke up naked in a shower stall with Sirius—”
“Ack!” James yelled, covering his hands with his ears. “I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know!”
Remus looked supremely amused. “You asked,” he said. Sirius laughed.
“Don’t remind me,” James grumbled. And, “That’s not really how it happened, is it?”
“Not quite,” Remus said, his lips twitching. “It was really more that we both came to the realisation that we were attracted to each other, and by mutual consent, decided—”
Sirius snorted. “Listen to him, making it sound so complicated. I fancied him, he fancied me, one day we found out that we fancied each other, and we decided that shagging sounded fun.”
James buried his face in his hands. “You two’ve shagged,” he said, his voice muffled. “Why are you telling me this? I don’t want to think about it!”
James’s face may have been covered by his hands, but he could feel Sirius’s grin. “Because you’re our friend, and it’s our job to bother you with details about our sex life,” he said cheerfully. “We couldn’t very well do that unless you knew about it. And when you said that about the girls thinking me gay, it was the perfect opening, you can’t blame us for taking it.” He sniggered.
“Right,” James said, lifting his head up again. “You’ve bothered me with details of your sex life, now I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone while I go scrub my brain out.” He hurriedly stood up and started striding to the door. Then, on an impulse, just as he reached it, he looked back. Remus and Sirius were sitting on Sirius’s bed, laughing gently. Sirius laid his head in Remus’s lap, and Remus started stroking his hair. James turned around just as Remus bent down. That was theirs, and he didn’t need to watch it.
“Tchaaaa,” he muttered as he started down the stairs to the common room. Maybe Lily would be down there, and he could try to impress her with his new knowledge about Freud.
lykaios for this. *nods firmly*Title: It's All Freudian
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Telling James about Freud helps him understand why precisely Remus keeps helping Sirius with his "revising".
"You know," Remus said, "it's all very Freudian."
James looked puzzled. “Freud? Isn’t he that bloke with the ego and the superego, and the…what was it…”
“Id,” Sirius added helpfully from where he was lying on his stomach on his bed. He and Remus shared a smile that James didn’t notice.
James flapped a hand in acknowledgment. “Right, right. The id, the ego, and the superego. Only I never could remember which one was which…anyway, that was Freud, right?”
“Right,” Remus said. “Only that’s not all Freud talked about.”
“Mostly he talked about sex,” Sirius said, “which is why I’m surprised you don’t know all that there is to know about him, Prongs.” Sirius grinned.
James pushed up his glasses and ignored Sirius’s last comment. “So I’m supposed to pay attention to this bloke because he talked about sex a lot? That means I’d have to pay attention to Padfoot here…”
“Hey,” Sirius objected good-naturedly. He mock-glared at James, and then laughed.
“As I was saying,” Remus spoke over Sirius and James, “what James said is very Freudian.”
James looked baffled. “What?” he asked. “That you need to ease up on Sirius and give him a break from making him revise all the time because all the girls will think he’s gay when he spends all his time with you? How’s that Freudian?”
Sirius shook his head mournfully, trying almost successfully to hold back an amused grin. “Now Prongsy, what did we just tell you about Freud?”
“He talked about sex all the time,” James muttered sulkily. “Don’t see what sex’s got to do with you and Moony spending all your time toge—” He stopped short, and looked with narrowed eyes at the other two. Remus seemed to be hiding sniggers behind a hand, and Sirius wasn’t even bothering to hold back his grin anymore.
“Look, Moony, I think he gets it!” Sirius started chuckling.
“I think he does,” Remus agreed. He shared a glance with Sirius, and in that moment, James wondered that he hadn’t gotten it before.
Then the moment was gone, and James gritted his teeth, annoyed at them and him. “How?” he asked, right before it occurred to him that maybe he didn’t want to know.
“Well,” Remus said, tapping his lips with a quill, “it all began when I woke up naked in a shower stall with Sirius—”
“Ack!” James yelled, covering his hands with his ears. “I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know!”
Remus looked supremely amused. “You asked,” he said. Sirius laughed.
“Don’t remind me,” James grumbled. And, “That’s not really how it happened, is it?”
“Not quite,” Remus said, his lips twitching. “It was really more that we both came to the realisation that we were attracted to each other, and by mutual consent, decided—”
Sirius snorted. “Listen to him, making it sound so complicated. I fancied him, he fancied me, one day we found out that we fancied each other, and we decided that shagging sounded fun.”
James buried his face in his hands. “You two’ve shagged,” he said, his voice muffled. “Why are you telling me this? I don’t want to think about it!”
James’s face may have been covered by his hands, but he could feel Sirius’s grin. “Because you’re our friend, and it’s our job to bother you with details about our sex life,” he said cheerfully. “We couldn’t very well do that unless you knew about it. And when you said that about the girls thinking me gay, it was the perfect opening, you can’t blame us for taking it.” He sniggered.
“Right,” James said, lifting his head up again. “You’ve bothered me with details of your sex life, now I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone while I go scrub my brain out.” He hurriedly stood up and started striding to the door. Then, on an impulse, just as he reached it, he looked back. Remus and Sirius were sitting on Sirius’s bed, laughing gently. Sirius laid his head in Remus’s lap, and Remus started stroking his hair. James turned around just as Remus bent down. That was theirs, and he didn’t need to watch it.
“Tchaaaa,” he muttered as he started down the stairs to the common room. Maybe Lily would be down there, and he could try to impress her with his new knowledge about Freud.
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 08:44 pm (UTC)I repeat, OH MY GOD. Oh my FUCKING GOD. ::dies laughing::
You are-
::dies again::
::has ten million of your babies, somehow::
no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 11:41 pm (UTC)I love the whole "I don't want to know" thing and the shift into the "hrm, I can maybe impress Evans with this..." Just typical.
Best line: “Well,” Remus said, tapping his lips with a quill, “it all began when I woke up naked in a shower stall with Sirius—”
no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 09:44 am (UTC)