I can handle separation and loss (though I generally prefer the happy) if the parted lovers internalise what they learned from one another and go forward (after an appropriate period of mourning) made stronger, better, kinder and more hopeful by the love they shared.

Well, in theory I can handle that. I'd certainly prefer it to shallow or nonexistent characterization, or hopelessness. But I so much prefer the couple getting to stay together and happy that if given a choice, I probably wouldn't watch or read something where they end up separated, even if they're made better by having loved.

I'd intended to go more into my essential disappointment with JE, but I hadn't gotten to around to it. My issues are much what you expressed in that last paragraph, but also, to go back to the "interpretation" theme in my post, it's that my essential interpretation of the Doctor is apparently different from RTD's vision. That shook my confidence a bit, even if we basically did get canon D/R. *sigh*